Chapter 7: Maya Was## Chapter 7: Maya Was Never Supposed to Be the Target
I read Ethan Never Supposed to Be the Target
I read Ethan's message three times before the words began's message three times before the words began to make sense.
*Maya wasn't supposed to be the one they chose.*
My daughter to make sense.
*Maya wasn't supposed to be the one they chose.*
My daughter was eight years old. She loved strawberry pancakes, hated thunderstorms, and believed was eight years old. She loved strawberry pancakes, hated thunderstorms, and believed every lost tooth went to a tiny office where fair every lost tooth went to a tiny office where fairies sorted children's dreams.
She had never done anything to deserve being chosen fories sorted children's dreams.
She had never done anything to deserve being chosen for anything.
I looked across the living room at the police officer collecting anything.
I looked across the living room at the police officer collecting the documents from behind our bathroom mirror.
“What does this mean?”” I asked.
He glanced at my phone.
the documents from behind our bathroom mirror.
“What does this mean?”” I asked.
He glanced at my phone.
“I can't tell you what your brother means. But you should preserve that“I can't tell you what your brother means. But you should preserve that message and avoid contacting him until investigators can speak with him.””
“I need answers.””
“I message and avoid contacting him until investigators can speak with him.””
“I need answers.””
“I understand. But if there are other children involved, we need to establish what happened before anyone interferes with understand. But if there are other children involved, we need to establish what happened before anyone interferes with potential evidence.””
Other children.
The words made my stomach turn.
potential evidence.””
Other children.
The words made my stomach turn.
I looked at Claire.
She was sitting on the sofa with her hands folded between her knees. Her wedding ring lay on the coffee table beside her.
“DidI looked at Claire.
She was sitting on the sofa with her hands folded between her knees. Her wedding ring lay on the coffee table beside her.
“Did you know there were other children?”” I asked.
She shook her head.
“Claire you know there were other children?”” I asked.
She shook her head.
“Claire, look at me.””
She raised her eyes.
“Did you know?””
“I knew, look at me.””
She raised her eyes.
“Did you know?””
“I knew about Lily.””
“That isn't what I asked.””
She swallowed.
“No. I didn't know about about Lily.””
“That isn't what I asked.””
She swallowed.
“No. I didn't know about other children.””
“Then why did Ethan say Maya wasn't supposed to be the one they chose?””
Her eyes filled with tears.
“Because he told me other children.””
“Then why did Ethan say Maya wasn't supposed to be the one they chose?””
Her eyes filled with tears.
“Because he told me something about the research.””
“What research?””
She looked at the officers, then back something about the research.””
“What research?””
She looked at the officers, then back at me.
“Two months ago, he said Dr. Harris was working with a private medical at me.
“Two months ago, he said Dr. Harris was working with a private medical company. They were studying a compound that affected sleep and company. They were studying a compound that affected sleep and behavior.””
I stared at her.
“And you thought giving it to our daughter behavior.””
I stared at her.
“And you thought giving it to our daughter was a reasonable idea?””
“No. I thought it was a supplement.””
“You just said was a reasonable idea?””
“No. I thought it was a supplement.””
“You just said you knew it affected behavior.””
“He told me it was being tested to help people with you knew it affected behavior.””
“He told me it was being tested to help people with sleep problems. He said it wasn't dangerous when used correctly.””
“Who told you that?””
“Ethan.””
“ sleep problems. He said it wasn't dangerous when used correctly.””
“Who told you that?””
“Ethan.””
“Not a doctor?””
She lowered her head.
I laughed bitterly.
“Our familyNot a doctor?””
She lowered her head.
I laughed bitterly.
“Our family doctor was involved, and you never thought to ask him directly doctor was involved, and you never thought to ask him directly?””
“I was embarrassed.””
“Embarrassed?””
“I didn't want him to think I couldn't handle being a mother!””
I stared at her.
Maya had been in pain for four days. She had begged for help. She had asked to call me. She had?””
“I was embarrassed.””
“Embarrassed?””
“I didn't want him to think I couldn't handle being a mother!””
I stared at her.
Maya had been in pain for four days. She had begged for help. She had asked to call me. She had secretly recorded her own mother because she was afraid nobody would believe her.
And secretly recorded her own mother because she was afraid nobody would believe her.
And Claire was still trying to make this about Claire was still trying to make this about her embarrassment.
One of the officers approached.
“Mr. Carter, we've secured the documents and container. We're going to need you and your wife to provide formal her embarrassment.
One of the officers approached.
“Mr. Carter, we've secured the documents and container. We're going to need you and your wife to provide formal statements. A specialist will also review the medical information from the hospital.””
I nodded.
“Whatever statements. A specialist will also review the medical information from the hospital.””
I nodded.
“Whatever they need.””
He turned they need.””
He turned to Claire.
“Mrs. Carter, we'll need you to come with us for further questioning.””
She looked at me.
“Daniel, please don't let them take me away.””
I didn't answer immediately.
I wanted to tell her that to Claire.
“Mrs. Carter, we'll need you to come with us for further questioning.””
She looked at me.
“Daniel, please don't let them take me away.””
I didn't answer immediately.
I wanted to tell her that I couldn't protect her from the consequences of her own decisions. I wanted to tell her that I couldn't protect her from the consequences of her own decisions. I wanted to tell her that every time she had dismissed Maya's pain, she had made a choice.
But then I remembered Maya's question every time she had dismissed Maya's pain, she had made a choice.
But then I remembered Maya's question at the hospital.
Is Mommy mad at me?
My daughter still loved her mother.
She was at the hospital.
Is Mommy mad at me?
My daughter still loved her mother.
She was eight.
She didn't understand how a person could love someone and still hurt eight.
She didn't understand how a person could love someone and still hurt them.
I looked at Claire.
“I won't lie for you,” I said.
“But I won't tell Maya that them.
I looked at Claire.
“I won't lie for you,” I said.
“But I won't tell Maya that you don't love her, either.””
Claire covered her face.
The officers you don't love her, either.””
Claire covered her face.
The officers escorted her toward the front door.
She stopped beside me.
“Daniel?””
I kept my eyes on the floor.
“I did escorted her toward the front door.
She stopped beside me.
“Daniel?””
I kept my eyes on the floor.
“I did love you.””
I looked up.
“Then you should have loved Maya enough to stop.””
She walked out without another word.
When the door closed, the house became unbearably quiet.
I stood in the middle love you.””
I looked up.
“Then you should have loved Maya enough to stop.””
She walked out without another word.
When the door closed, the house became unbearably quiet.
I stood in the middle of the living room, surrounded by photographs of the family I thought I had.
of the living room, surrounded by photographs of the family I thought I had.
Maya in a yellow dress on her first day of school.
Claire holding her birthday cake.
Ethan carryingMaya in a yellow dress on her first day of school.
Claire holding her birthday cake.
Ethan carrying her on his shoulders at the county fair.
Every photograph now looked like evidence from someone else's life.
I her on his shoulders at the county fair.
Every photograph now looked like evidence from someone else's life.
I picked up my keys and returned to the hospital.
Maya was awake when I arrived.
She lay in picked up my keys and returned to the hospital.
Maya was awake when I arrived.
She lay in a pediatric recovery room with a small stuffed rabbit tucked beneath a pediatric recovery room with a small stuffed rabbit tucked beneath her arm. An IV ran into her hand, and a monitor beeped softly beside her bed.
The moment she saw me, she her arm. An IV ran into her hand, and a monitor beeped softly beside her bed.
The moment she saw me, she reached out.
“Daddy!””
I crossed the room and wrapped my arms around her carefully reached out.
“Daddy!””
I crossed the room and wrapped my arms around her carefully.
“Hey, sweetheart.””
“You came back.””
“I promised.””
She buried her face against my.
“Hey, sweetheart.””
“You came back.””
“I promised.””
She buried her face against my shirt.
For several minutes, neither of us spoke.
Then she pulled away and studied my face.
“Are you crying?””
I wiped my cheek.
“No shirt.
For several minutes, neither of us spoke.
Then she pulled away and studied my face.
“Are you crying?””
I wiped my cheek.
“No, baby. Just tired.””
“That's what Mommy says when she's crying.””
A, baby. Just tired.””
“That's what Mommy says when she's crying.””
A small, broken laugh escaped me.
“You're too smart for your own good.””
She smiled faintly, small, broken laugh escaped me.
“You're too smart for your own good.””
She smiled faintly, then glanced toward the door.
“Is Mommy coming?””
I hesitated.
“She's talking to some police officers right then glanced toward the door.
“Is Mommy coming?””
I hesitated.
“She's talking to some police officers right now.””
“Because of the medicine?””
“Yes.””
Maya looked down at her rabbit.
“ now.””
“Because of the medicine?””
“Yes.””
Maya looked down at her rabbit.
“Are they going to put her in jail?””
“I don't know, sweetheartAre they going to put her in jail?””
“I don't know, sweetheart.””
“Will she hate me?””
The question cut deeper than anything Claire had said.
I sat.””
“Will she hate me?””
The question cut deeper than anything Claire had said.
I sat on the edge of the bed.
“Listen to me. None of this is your on the edge of the bed.
“Listen to me. None of this is your fault. You didn't do anything wrong by telling me what happened.
You didn't do anything wrong by recording what you heard. You were trying to stay safe.””
Maya rubbed the rabbit's ear between her fingers.
“But Mommy said you would get fault. You didn't do anything wrong by telling me what happened. You didn't do anything wrong by recording what you heard. You were trying to stay safe.””
Maya rubbed the rabbit's ear between her fingers.
“But Mommy said you would get mad if I told you.””
“I might have been upset about what happened, but never with mad if I told you.””
“I might have been upset about what happened, but never with you for telling me the truth.””
She you for telling me the truth.””
She looked at me for a long moment.
Then she whispered, “Uncle Ethan said I had to be a good girl.””
My entire body went still.
“When looked at me for a long moment.
Then she whispered, “Uncle Ethan said I had to be a good girl.””
My entire body went still.
“When did he say that?””
“Last week.””
I kept my voice gentle.
“What did he tell you, did he say that?””
“Last week.””
I kept my voice gentle.
“What did he tell you, Maya?””
She stared at the rabbit.
“He came to our house when Maya?””
She stared at the rabbit.
“He came to our house when you were at work. Mommy took me into the kitchen. Uncle Ethan gave her the blue bottle.””
I swallowed hard.
“What happened next?””
“He you were at work. Mommy took me into the kitchen. Uncle Ethan gave her the blue bottle.””
I swallowed hard.
“What happened next?””
“He said I was a big girl and could help Mommy.””
“Help her how?””
Maya's lower lip trembled.
“He said I shouldn't tell you said I was a big girl and could help Mommy.””
“Help her how?””
Maya's lower lip trembled.
“He said I shouldn't tell you about the bottle because you would get worried. He said Mommy needed about the bottle because you would get worried. He said Mommy needed me to sleep better so she could do her work.””
“What work?””
“I don't know.””
She wiped me to sleep better so she could do her work.””
“What work?””
“I don't know.””
She wiped her nose on the blanket.
“Then he asked Mommy if I looked like Lily.””
The room seemed to tilt.
I gripped the edge of the bed.
“What did her nose on the blanket.
“Then he asked Mommy if I looked like Lily.””
The room seemed to tilt.
I gripped the edge of the bed.
“What did your mother say?””
“She told him not to talk about Lily.””
“Did you ask who Lily was?””
Maya nodded.
“Mommy said Lily was your mother say?””
“She told him not to talk about Lily.””
“Did you ask who Lily was?””
Maya nodded.
“Mommy said Lily was a baby who went to heaven before I was born.””
I closed my eyes.
“And a baby who went to heaven before I was born.””
I closed my eyes.
“And what did Uncle Ethan say?””
Maya's voice became even smaller.
“He said some babies don't go to heaven. They go somewhere else.””
I felt cold all over what did Uncle Ethan say?””
Maya's voice became even smaller.
“He said some babies don't go to heaven. They go somewhere else.””
I felt cold all over.
“Did he explain what he meant?””
She shook her head.
“He told me I was too little to understand.””
I took.
“Did he explain what he meant?””
She shook her head.
“He told me I was too little to understand.””
I took her hand.
“Did he ever ask you to take anything? Or her hand.
“Did he ever ask you to take anything? Or tell you to go somewhere with him?””
“No.””
“Did he ever hurt you tell you to go somewhere with him?””
“No.””
“Did he ever hurt you?””
Maya hesitated.
That hesitation frightened me more than any answer.
“Sweetheart, you can?””
Maya hesitated.
That hesitation frightened me more than any answer.
“Sweetheart, you can tell me anything.””
“He held my arm once.””
I stared at her.
“When?””
“When I tried tell me anything.””
“He held my arm once.””
I stared at her.
“When?””
“When I tried to leave the kitchen.””
My heart pounded.
“Did he hurt you?””
to leave the kitchen.””
My heart pounded.
“Did he hurt you?””
“He squeezed it. It hurt a little.””
I wanted to stand“He squeezed it. It hurt a little.””
I wanted to stand up and find my brother.
Instead, I stayed beside my daughter up and find my brother.
Instead, I stayed beside my daughter.
“Thank you for telling me.””
She leaned into me.
“Daddy?””
.
“Thank you for telling me.””
She leaned into me.
“Daddy?””
“Yes?””
“Am I like Lily?””
I couldn't answer.
I didn't know what Lily was like. I had never held her,“Yes?””
“Am I like Lily?””
I couldn't answer.
I didn't know what Lily was like. I had never held her, never seen her face, never heard her cry.
I didn't even know whether the child I had mourn never seen her face, never heard her cry.
I didn't even know whether the child I had mourned without knowing her name had truly died.
I brushed Maya's hair from her forehead.
“You'reed without knowing her name had truly died.
I brushed Maya's hair from her forehead.
“You're Maya. You're my daughter, and nobody gets to turn you into anything else.””
She nodded, Maya. You're my daughter, and nobody gets to turn you into anything else.””
She nodded, but she wasn't satisfied.
“Why did Uncle Ethan ask if I looked like but she wasn't satisfied.
“Why did Uncle Ethan ask if I looked like her?””
“I don't know yet.””
“Will you find out?””
I kissed her forehead.
“Yes.””
her?””
“I don't know yet.””
“Will you find out?””
I kissed her forehead.
“Yes.””
She finally relaxed against the pillow.
A nurse came in to check her temperature and examine her incision. I steppedShe finally relaxed against the pillow.
A nurse came in to check her temperature and examine her incision. I stepped aside while she worked, then sat back down when Maya drifted into aside while she worked, then sat back down when Maya drifted into a light sleep.
I took out my phone.
Ethan had sent another message.
**Please meet me alone a light sleep.
I took out my phone.
Ethan had sent another message.
*Please meet me alone. I have proof that Lily was alive after the hospital said she died.*
I stared at it.
Then I. I have proof that Lily was alive after the hospital said she died.**
I stared at it.
Then I typed:
*Where?*
His answer arrived almost immediately.
**The old house on Mercer Road typed:
*Where?*
His answer arrived almost immediately.
*The old house on Mercer Road. Midnight. Come alone.*
I looked at the clock.
11:17 p.m.
I. Midnight. Come alone.**
I looked at the clock.
11:17 p.m.
I should have given the message to the police and waited for them to arrange a meeting.
Instead, I looked at Maya.
My daughter should have given the message to the police and waited for them to arrange a meeting.
Instead, I looked at Maya.
My daughter had nearly died while adults around her protected secrets.
I couldn't allow another had nearly died while adults around her protected secrets.
I couldn't allow another child to remain hidden because I had been too afraid to ask the next child to remain hidden because I had been too afraid to ask the next question.
I sent Ethan one reply.
**If you lie to me again, you'll never see me or question.
I sent Ethan one reply.
*If you lie to me again, you'll never see me or Maya again.*
Then I called the police investigator whose card Maya again.**
Then I called the police investigator whose card I'd been given at the house. I told him about Ethan's message and asked him to arrange a safe meeting I'd been given at the house. I told him about Ethan's message and asked him to arrange a safe meeting.
He instructed me to stay at the hospital until officers could coordinate the next steps.
For once.
He instructed me to stay at the hospital until officers could coordinate the next steps.
For once, I listened.
At 11:42 p.m., the investigator called back.
“We've, I listened.
At 11:42 p.m., the investigator called back.
“We've located the property on Mercer Road,” he said.
“It's associated with a company connected to Dr. Harris. We're checking the records located the property on Mercer Road,” he said.
“It's associated with a company connected to Dr. Harris. We're checking the records now.””
“What company?””
He read the name.
I recognized it immediately now.””
“What company?””
He read the name.
I recognized it immediately.
It was the company Ethan had mentioned during our conversation at the hospital.
The one.
It was the company Ethan had mentioned during our conversation at the hospital.
The one supplying materials to research facilities.
“Is my brother there?””
“We don't know yet. But there's something else you supplying materials to research facilities.
“Is my brother there?””
“We don't know yet. But there's something else you should be aware of.””
I sat straighter.
“What?””
“The property was searched three should be aware of.””
I sat straighter.
“What?””
“The property was searched three years ago as part of an investigation involving falsified medical records.””
My mouth went dry.
“What were they investigating years ago as part of an investigation involving falsified medical records.””
My mouth went dry.
“What were they investigating?””
“Several newborn transfers that didn't match the hospitals?””
“Several newborn transfers that didn't match the hospitals' official records.””
I looked at Maya.
She was asleep, one hand curled around her stuffed rabbit.
The investigator continued.
“One of the names in' official records.””
I looked at Maya.
She was asleep, one hand curled around her stuffed rabbit.
The investigator continued.
“One of the names in those records is Lily Carter.””
I couldn't breathe.
“Was she alive?””
“We those records is Lily Carter.””
I couldn't breathe.
“Was she alive?””
“We're still verifying that.””
“Then what do you know?””
He paused.
“We found a second birth record're still verifying that.””
“Then what do you know?””
He paused.
“We found a second birth record under a different name.””
I closed my eyes.
“Whose?””
The investigator lowered under a different name.””
I closed my eyes.
“Whose?””
The investigator lowered his voice.
“That's what we're trying to establish. But the photograph his voice.
“That's what we're trying to establish. But the photograph attached to it appears to show a woman who may be your wife.””
I looked at the hospital room door attached to it appears to show a woman who may be your wife.””
I looked at the hospital room door.
Claire had known about Lily.
Ethan had known about Lily.
Dr. Harris had signed the records.
And.
Claire had known about Lily.
Ethan had known about Lily.
Dr. Harris had signed the records.
And now there was a second birth record.
I whispered, “How many babies were there?””
The investigator didn't now there was a second birth record.
I whispered, “How many babies were there?””
The investigator didn't answer.
Then my phone buzzed.
A new message from Ethan.
**Daniel, don't trust answer.
Then my phone buzzed.
A new message from Ethan.
*Daniel, don't trust the police records. They were changed after Lily disappeared.*
A second message followed.
*If you want to know what happened to your the police records. They were changed after Lily disappeared.*
A second message followed.
*If you want to know what happened to your daughter, ask Claire what she did on October 12.*
I stared at the screen.
October daughter, ask Claire what she did on October 12.**
I stared at the screen.
October 12.
The date listed as Lily's birth.
The date that made the documents 12.
The date listed as Lily's birth.
The date that made the documents impossible.
Then another message appeared.
*And ask her why she kept the hospital bracelet.*
I looked impossible.
Then another message appeared.
*And ask her why she kept the hospital bracelet.*
I looked toward Maya's purple backpack, which sat on the chair beside the bed.
I had toward Maya's purple backpack, which sat on the chair beside the bed.
I had promised my daughter I'd bring it back.
When I lifted it, something slipped from the promised my daughter I'd bring it back.
When I lifted it, something slipped from the outer pocket and landed on the blanket.
A small plastic hospital outer pocket and landed on the blanket.
A small plastic hospital bracelet.
Yellowed with age.
The printed name was barely visible.
But bracelet.
Yellowed with age.
The printed name was barely visible.
But I could read the date.
October 12.
And beneath it, in tiny letters, were the words:
I could read the date.
October 12.
And beneath it, in tiny letters, were the words:
*BABY GIRL — TEMPORARY HOLD.*
I stared at the bracelet.
Then I turned it over.
Someone had written a name*BABY GIRL — TEMPORARY HOLD.*
I stared at the bracelet.
Then I turned it over.
Someone had written a name on the back.
Not Lily.
Not Maya.
A name I'd never seen before.
** on the back.
Not Lily.
Not Maya.
A name I'd never seen before.
*Grace Carter.*
And beneath that name was a handwritten note.
Transfer approved by D. Carter.
My name.
MyGrace Carter.**
And beneath that name was a handwritten note.
Transfer approved by D. Carter.
My name.
My signature.
Except I had never signed it.
May you like
signature.
Except I had never signed it.
